House cleaning Tips and Tricks

There's a lot more to cleaning than just scrubbing. Growing up in a house with regular chore responsibilities I've learned 90% of the mess is just hiding the junk until someone else “stumbles upon” it, then you blame it on them. It's both genius and mischievous! sadly one cannot just master the method of “short-cutting” it takes years of practice and getting caught shoving fallen ice cubes under the fridge to await it's socked victim, drowning ones foot in a cold puddle of revenge. That one got me in trouble quite often. Although, if you have/had strict parents (like I do) it's not a matter of being lazy anymore, it's a game of seeing how much you can't do without being noticed. So here are a few tricks and tips in the art of cutting corners on house work. Enjoy!

• Act like you can't do it.

If you have a chore you just hate to the point you're willing to move away to a deserted island filled with only rattlesnakes, coyotes and a single coconut tree just to get out of doing them then your best bet is to mess it up! Do things so badly that your parents have to make you stop. doing the laundry? Drop a red sock into the white load. Fold things as strangely as you can! And piles? there are no piles! Your moms shirts go with your brothers clothes. Your dads underwear fits perfectly in the towel cabinet, also, make sure to match ankle and knee socks together all the time, that'll do it. 

• Disappear at chore time.

I was the master at this when I was younger, I was like a chore ninja. the best way to do this is to vanish and go do something “important”. Go pretend to do homework, go to the bathroom, and my personal favorite is to tell your parent that you're trying to solve world hunger.....my mom never believed it but I poured my heart and soul into that lie.

• Fall asleep

This one never failed when I was little. If you don't wanna do it go to your room and take a nap. You get out of your parents hair and as a bonus you get a snack when you wake up!

• Get your siblings to do it for you

Younger siblings will do anything for some extra candy. Throw in a few days of your dessert and you got yourself a chore minion! The trick is to not pick the lazy sibling. If the job isn't done right it'll be blamed on you, and if it is done right they'll tattle because they want the credit. It's all about strategy.

Well there you have it! if you're a 5-year old these tips should work. and if you're not...tough luck. I still haven't found a way to get out of chores as a teen. But, because I've learned nothing from past mistakes ill keep trying to get out of them. Is that immature? Yes, yes it is.

*Although I did most of these things as a child (and still today), all these examples were met for humor purposes only. I would not suggest anyone to do these things because they are stupid and if your parents are anything like mine they won't buy it because your older sister tried it before you.*